The Self in relation to the other:
I’m taking a course called Psychology of the Self. Here are some various conceptual selves:
Actual Self: What we actually perceive ourselves to be. For me this is not a concrete “self”. For me it involves ongoing inward and outward attention.
Ideal Self: What we aspire to become. Right now I can’t think of what I’d rather be, though I used to torture myself with this idea of a better me. I don’t believe in effortful improvement or constant working to “better” the self. The self is fine. Control that force within you that wants to control everything. note: You won’t be able to control that either.
Ought Self: What we are expected to be. As long as there are other people who know me they’ll keep expecting me to be a self they perceive I should be or become. People like their ideas to come true. I’m trying not to pay attention to this.
Self-Discrepancy Theory says that the gap between actual self and ideal self, as well as the gap between the actual self and the ought self are psychologically discomforting.
Now you are enlightened. Have a great Monday!