Idle and Blessed

Mary Oliver is perhaps my favorite poet. Here’s a poem of hers that I came across today, combined with some pictures  (mostly my little sister’s photography). It’s a great poem for the times I am going through currently.

“I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?”

From “The summer day”

The paddy-field here is a space from my childhood that I still keep returning to. It means something to me. When people have moved all around the world, trees still stay in the same place. New paddy comes every year, the surrounding stays the same. .

Here, I lose sense of time (and many other things).

What is it you plan to do, with your one wild and precious life?”

Between Hope and Despair

I’ve been bouncing between hope and despair for a while now – self-absorbed – trying to make the best decisions. I’ve been taking myself and my future too seriously, desperately holding onto illusions of control. Thinking that if I thought hard enough and wide enough I could change things.

That was before.

Now I feel like I am settling into comfortable mediocrity and with that my dreams feel like the leaves below.  It is the feeling of giving in.

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However, I will continue to find joy in little things. I’ve heard that it’s not the path you travel, but how you travel it that makes the real difference. Maybe one day, my dreams will grow wings again.

You know what I’m most afraid of? I am afraid of becoming numb like the many people I see, going about their tasks, passing as well-adjusted members of society.

What does it mean to be well-adjusted to a society that is based on greed, competition and fear?

Off to Canada

I’m heading back to Ontario, Canada after 9 months of being away. Looking forward to visit my comfort spaces again; perhaps the top two being the Credit River and the Loafer’s Lake. Looking forward to seeing the Ontario birds that I haven’t seen in ages. Feeling a bit insecure without a job, without university and without a space of my own to live at but leaving with hope and love gathered from Sri Lanka, UK and Romania.

Living my life quietly, yet as soulfully as I can.

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See you, a continent away!