Tree branches make me think of dendrites; “short branched extensions of a nerve cell, along which impulses received from other cells at synapses are transmitted to the cell body.” Of course I have not seen actual dendrites, I only have seen tree branches.
A photo from earlier this year when trees still had leaves:
I did something brave today. *Pat on the head for self* A dream came back to me.
Down from here you go to the river. Most comforting space. I have run, meditated and even written an essay here. Once, deep in winter, I came here to the edge. I could hear the river below and my heartbeat. The natural world is beautiful and offers peace to whoever comes in.
I wish I described things better.
At university I met someone who said that she feels like the trees are reaching up to the heavens in praise of God. I would have been happy to talk about how the trees love God, but she wanted me to be a part of their cult. So, I had to walk away.
“There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!” Percy Bysshe Shelley
Today it’s a year since my official graduation. I avoided the whole graduation ritual last year so I collected the diploma the day before yesterday. I don’t understand why people think the ceremony is the most important thing. How about the classes, the assignments, and strange people you meet? It’s been a great year off formal education. Lots of love, photos and a different kind of learning.
I’ve been bouncing between hope and despair for a while now – self-absorbed – trying to make the best decisions. I’ve been taking myself and my future too seriously, desperately holding onto illusions of control. Thinking that if I thought hard enough and wide enough I could change things.
That was before.
Now I feel like I am settling into comfortable mediocrity and with that my dreams feel like the leaves below. It is the feeling of giving in.
However, I will continue to find joy in little things. I’ve heard that it’s not the path you travel, but how you travel it that makes the real difference. Maybe one day, my dreams will grow wings again.
You know what I’m most afraid of? I am afraid of becoming numb like the many people I see, going about their tasks, passing as well-adjusted members of society.
What does it mean to be well-adjusted to a society that is based on greed, competition and fear?